DEAR TURAN DUNCAN, ...

I keep a list on IMDb titled "My Favorite Actors". When I see an actor that stands out to me, I add their name to that list for the sole purpose of staying up to date on the projects they're working on. I'm not interested in anybody's feedback of my list, good or bad. Everyone is free to create their own list(s) if they so choose. Some actors are more famous than others, but all are extremely talented. I refer to that list often when I'm looking for something to watch I haven't seen before.  

All throughout this page I've discussed many times my love of independent films. I don't care what the budget is of a film, if the story and characters are strong, I'll love it. Some of the actors on my list are those who caught my attention from their work in independent films and it's pure joy watching their careers grow. Of those, some have become very dear personal friends over the years after working with them on various projects or chance meetings at film screenings etc. Just a few examples: 

CHAD DARNELL

Chad Darnell is everything in the entertainment industry. He's been a Casting Director for years with many major film and TV productions to his credit. He's a fantastic writer, actor (TV, film and theater), director and producer. 

The first time I saw Chad was in his 2012 independent short film mockumentary Groom's Cake which he wrote, directed, produced and co-starred in. I loved it so much and was ecstatic when I learned there would be a feature length sequel called Birthday Cake and impatiently waited for its release. 

Finally, Birthday Cake was on the festival circuit and I went to a screening in 2012 at the QFilms festival in Long Beach, CA. It was heaven for me because Lee Meriwether, you know, Catwoman from the 60's Batman, came in and sat down next to me. That was our first meeting. I later went on to work with her a couple of times and those memories are among my favorites. After the film and talk-back were over, I finally had the honor to meet Chad and tell him how much I enjoyed his work. He was extremely sweet. 

Since then, I've gotten to know Chad over the years, we had dinner once but mainly through social media since he lives in Georgia and I'm in California. I do know that he can be a bit gruff at times, passionate about world events and he's not afraid to say what he's thinking, but, Chad is one of the most genuinely kind people I can think of. He has a heart of gold, he works harder than almost anyone else I can think of, he's a philanthropist, he's hilarious, he cares about people, his creativity and talent is off the charts and he's dedicated to his faith. I support any project Chad is involved with without question. I'm proud to call him my friend.   

PETER STICKLES

Peter Stickles is an outstanding actor and producer probably most recognized so far for his role as Vampire King Damian Courtenay in all 3 seasons of the TV series The Lair... a show that was cancelled way too soon and could have easily gone on a few more seasons. 

The first time Peter caught my attention was when I saw John Cameron Mitchell's 2006 independent film Shortbus where he played the voyeur. In a film with one of the most cohesive ensemble casts I've ever seen, he stood out and I've been keeping up ever since. 

Peter loves being in the horror films like Cemetery Gates, The Trouble With Barry, Zoombies 2, Shhhh and George's Intervention just to name a few, but he's also been in a number of wonderful thrillers, comedies and dramas like I Want to Get Married, Best Day Ever, Stage Fright and Confessions... everything from cameos to feature roles, he delivers. 

Peter is one of those actors who should be in every movie and TV show because he's just so damn good! When I see a crowd funding campaign with his name attached to the project, I'll gladly donate what I can. He can play the hero, the leading man, the best friend or the serial killer. When he's in a scene, your attention goes directly to him.  

I first met Peter at a film screening in 2012, a movie he wasn't in but was there supporting his friend who was in the movie. Over the years we've run into each other at various screenings or related events. As I've gotten to know him better, Peter is one of the most "Zen" people I can think of... he doesn't let a lot rattle him and things just roll off his back. Of course he's concerned about world and political issues as responsible citizens should be, he will speak up, but he doesn't let it eat away at him. He's extremely kind to people and I've personally never heard him say anything bad about anyone. Peter and his husband are the perfect team and they are loyal to their friends. He's not afraid to embrace his quirkiness, he can be silly or serious. He loves animals, is devoted to animal charities and at times I can imagine him standing in his yard surrounded by wildlife critters like something out of a Disney movie. A fantastic human being.

BRIAN NOLAN

Like Peter, Brian Nolan is probably most recognized for his role as Frankie, the tortured human in season 1 and as the silly but still tortured ghost in seasons 2 & 3 of the TV series The Lair. I didn't' watch The Lair in it's original run because my cable provider didn't provide the HERE! channel. I got the DVDs from Netflix after the show had been cancelled and I loved every second of them. 

The first time Brian Nolan caught my attention was in our friend Rob Williams' 2010 independent film Role/Play. Brian played the supporting role of Ricky, who is battling skin cancer but still manages to be uplifting. The film also stars Matthew Montgomery, Steve Callahan and David Pevsner. I've met Matthew and Steve, they are wonderful people. I've worked with David Pevsner and just love him to pieces. However, because of Brian's outstanding one on one scene with Matthew Montgomery, when this movie was over, it was Brian I wanted to know more about. He has a larger than life screen presence that just reels you in. 

After I started watching The Lair, I checked Twitter to see if Brian was on it. I found him, followed him, a couple of weeks later he followed me back, and that's how it all started. 

I first met Brian about a year after following each other on Twitter at that same film screening I met Peter at. After the movie and talk back were over, I introduced myself to him and his reply was "OH MY GOD" with a huge hug. We went to the reception down the street and had a very pleasant, long conversation. 

Since then, we've gotten to know each other a lot better. We hang out occasionally and he's my favorite +1 to go to screenings, plays, holiday parties etc. with. I don't see him very often because he's a very busy man with a whole lot of friends so the time we get is very precious. 

I was honored to get the chance to work with Brian when he guest starred in the season 3 Mama's Jewels episode of a web series I produced called Child of the '70s. It was fun to see him in his element and it's my favorite time on a film set to this day. 

Brian is still an actor, though he has evolved into a most ethical, loved and respected film producer - at the moment mostly television films for Lifetime, Hallmark, SyFy and Netflix and he's well on his way to being one of the top power producers in the film industry. Everyone reading this has seen at least one movie he's produced.

One of the things I love the most about Brian is the way he treats people. It doesn't matter if you're famous or not, rich or poor, tall or short, thin or fat, a raving beauty or average... he treats ALL people with the same dignity, respect and kindness they deserve. He takes the time to talk to everyone. Everywhere you go with him, he knows somebody. He's one of those people who has to personally say goodbye to everyone at a party before he leaves. He can be quite zany, sweet, caring, intelligent, a great listener... the very definition of "friend". If his name comes up in conversation, everyone within earshot will chime in with "I love Brian Nolan". My sentiments exactly!  

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Now this blog entry is going to take a turn.

About 4 or 5 years ago I was looking online for a movie to watch and I came across a British film called Vampires: Brighter in Darkness written by, directed by and produced by Jason Davitt. 

The film is about an ancient vampire, Lucas Delmore, who finds his true love, Toby Brighter, and the obstacles they face in dealing with the insane Goddess Lilith, her "generals" and their jealous ex-boyfriends. When the movie was over, I panicked a bit because it ends on a cliffhanger and I wanted to see where the story went. Luckily, I found the sequel, Vampires: Lucas Rising, where the story continues in their quest to defeat psycho Lilith. Guess what? That one ended on a cliffhanger too... only the third intended film, Vampires: Revenge of the Gods, to this day has still never been filmed and realistically, it's been so long since Lucas Rising was released, people and situations as you're about to read have changed dramatically, so I don't see it happening. Maybe I'm wrong. 

The films have very strong story lines and great characters. The special effects are extremely ambitious for a smaller budget independent film. Common with many independent films, film makers use everyone they know personally to round out the cast whether they're really actors or not. It's obvious some have more acting experience than others, but that's ok, for these films it works. The only thing that really bothered me about these movies is the sound quality. A lot of the dialog is difficult to understand because of all the electronic enhancements, loud sound effects, and the volume of the dialog is inconsistent. Also, it would have been beneficial if the actors had rehearsed more wearing their vampire fangs before filming began because some of them really struggled to speak clearly. Others of the cast were able to use the fangs and speak just fine... like trained actors would be able to. The shot in the nightclub scene where you can see the film crew in the glass door made me chuckle but these things happen:

TURAN DUNCAN

Turan Duncan, who plays the incubus vampire Mikal briefly in Brighter in Darkness and as a main character in Lucas Rising, is the one who really out-shined the rest of the cast in these films and the one I really wanted to see in more future films. Young, tall, very handsome, extremely talented and it was obvious he had more training as an actor than most of the rest of the cast. Like Brian Nolan and Peter Stickles, he has a larger than life screen presence that reels you in and any scene he's in, your attention goes right to him. 

I added Turan to My Favorite Actors list on IMDb so I could check in on him from time to time to see what's he's up to. Every few months I'll go through the list and see if anything is new. I saw that Turan has a credit on his IMDb page for a Romeo & Juliet film, but as far as I could tell, it's not available yet to the public. I imagine it will be on the festival circuit for a while. 

I noticed a long time ago that Turan does a lot of theater work so I was sure one day I would see his name on the Broadway World website announcing his role in a West End or Broadway show. 

Early in March of this 2020 year, I went through My Favorite Actor list and when I came across Turan's name, I didn't see anything new on IMDb so I decided to Google him to see what stage play he was currently doing. What I saw when I Googled his name shook me to the core. 

I saw a crowd funding campaign titled "LISTEN TO ME" posted by his mother, Tanju Duncan, with photos of Turan. The story read:

"Turan was an exceptional man who suffered and covered up his deep depression and anxieties. His story is not unique. We want to start fund raising to ensure that any money donated goes directly for counselling to young adults - that they do not have to wait at that crucial time when they seek help. Seeking help in itself is a brave step and time after time they are let down.

We are so aware of mental health - but do we understand? I know we didn't.

In memory of my beautiful boy help us to do something to support others.

Thank you."

I was really confused as I read the comments people posted on it. I kept thinking, that can't be. It must be someone else. I went on Twitter and entered his name in the search bar where I saw tweets from a couple of his friends and an ex-girlfriend who stated he had taken his own life. I don't know the exact date, but based on what I saw, it must have been in early January (***UPDATE: I've learned since I originally wrote this it was January 6, 2020). 

Mind you... I didn't know Turan, we'd never met, he lived in England, I'm in the United States and I'm old enough to be his mother so I wouldn't be the type to seek out personal information on a young actor (I don't know his exact age, but I'm guessing he was right around 30 ***UPDATE: I've learned since I originally wrote this he was 30 years old at the time of his passing and his date of birth is May 6, 1989). 

Since I saw that, for some reason, it's really been bothering me. I mean, we hear all the time on the news about people committing suicide, young actors like Jonathan Brandis, Lee Thompson Young, Sawyer Sweeten, Brad Renfro, Dana Plato and Justin Pierce... and while I feel sad for them and their families they left behind, they didn't haunt me the way Turan's death is. The best way I can describe it is, you know that feeling you get when you leave something unfinished? Like your conscience is nagging at you until you finish what you were supposed to do?  

My brain tells me there's absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this. I wasn't aware he suffered from depression and mental illness. All I knew of him is what is on IMDb and his online resume... his acting career. I knew nothing of his personal life. 

Maybe there is one thing I could have done but didn't. It probably wouldn't have changed the outcome, but it would have made him smile for a little while... 

Many years ago when I was starting high school at the age of 14, a guy by the name of Mark Mason, who was 4 years older than me and had just graduated from high school, took me under his wing and became my music mentor (I'd been studying music since I was 8 years old) and instilled a great love of literature and writing in me. I still use the lessons he taught me to this day... even as I type this I can hear his voice lecturing me on proper grammar and punctuation. 

MARK MASON

On April 22, 1989... at the age of 25, Mark died suddenly of suffocation after suffering an epileptic seizure in his sleep. When I got the phone call, I fell apart. All of these years later it still haunts me that I never told him "thank you" or I loved him. I learned the painful lesson that there comes a time when it really is too late. That's why it's so important to me now to tell the people I care about how much I love them and to say it often. 

With Turan, I could have taken a minute to send him a tweet on Twitter to simply tell him:

Dear Turan Duncan,

I really enjoyed you work in the Vampire movies and really look forward to seeing a lot more of your work in the future. 

But I didn't do that. Simple gestures can brighten a person's day, but most of the time we get so wrapped up in ourselves and our daily lives we don't think about how others feel. 

Social media has become such a hotbed of nastiness and hate, how wonderful would it be if we made the effort to use it for good for a change and compliment others instead of tearing each other down? 

I'm not going to judge Turan for his decision to end his own life. I can't even begin to imagine the level of pain he was in to believe that was his only option. He must have been in pure agony. 

I'm thinking about one line his ex-girlfriend said in her long tweet about him: "He needed to be heard". I hope at least one of his writer friends he collaborated with will tell his story... whether it be a play, a film (documentary or drama) or a book, I hope someone who knew him will tell his story so he will be heard. 

I'll always wonder what could have been. I'm hoping wherever he is now, he's at peace. While nothing will truly take away their pain, I hope Turan's family and friends find the strength to go on and in time find a way to focus on the happy times they had with him and turn their tragedy into something positive that will benefit others. 

LET'S TALK CROWD FUNDING ETIQUETTE

In the past 10 years or so, people have been using crowd funding websites such as Kickstarter, GoFundMe, Indiegogo and Seed & Spark, to name a few, for a variety of business and personal endeavors. It's not easy to find rich people to fully fund a film so crowd funding allows the film maker to get many people to make smaller donations that add up. You can't go a single day on social media without seeing at least one campaign post raising money for movies, music, art, books, medical bills, funerals, inventions and those who believe it's other people's responsibility to pay for their rent, utilities and vacations among many other things. My involvement with crowd funding has mainly been films so that's what I'll focus on in this post, though the information would apply to anyone who uses crowd funding.  

Many years ago when I first started helping young first time film makers raise money, we didn't have crowd funding websites... or the internet for that matter (yes kids there was a time when the internet didn't exist). We actually had to call people on the phone or meet people in person to discuss it... they would write checks and we'd have to physically go to a bank and deposit them... and believe me, it was very time consuming. I would constantly have to network and meet new people because you can only hit up the same people for money just so many times before they start telling you no. 

People are hesitant to give away their hard-earned money if there isn't something in it for them. Face it, a very small percentage of people who aspire to be film makers reach the level where their films are profitable. I had to convince people that they weren't investing in that film per se, they were investing in the film maker so they could get a foot in the door of the entertainment industry and hopefully grow from there. Knowing you helped a young person achieve a dream is a reward in and of itself. 

Once the film is funded and production wrapped, what happens to it is up to the film maker. Some are accepted into film festivals, most aren't. Some get distribution deals, most don't. Once the door has been opened, some film makers are able to continue making films, most don't. Some people just have more drive and determination than others, but, because they were able to get the funding they needed, they all had an equal chance of success. 

As I've written about in other posts, the 2008 recession took me out of the film game for a few years. Some time in 2011 I was able to start getting back into it, but a whole lot changed in those few years. The entertainment industry moves at a rapid pace sometimes and I'd lost contact with just about everybody. 

I opened a Twitter account while I was unemployed hoping it would lead to job offers... it didn't. Still, it was a useful tool. There was a time when Twitter was used productively instead of the non-stop bullying and cruelty we see now. I noticed many film makers using Indiegogo and Kickstarter to raise money for their projects. I had never heard of these websites before, so I educated myself. Once I figured out what it was all about, I couldn't donate much money because I was still struggling hard to get back on my feet, but I offered to help as many as I could in other ways.  

For a while, these crowd funding websites were great. But as time has gone on, I don't care much for them anymore, but, what are you going to do? The days of cold calling are gone because nobody answers their phones anymore. As a whole, we're becoming more and more anti-social because we have all these neat electronic devices now where we can go long periods of time never having to interact with people. Also, I, as many of you have I'm sure, have been burned by making donations on crowd funding platforms, the project never happened and the money was never returned. 

So, let's break down the crowd funding process. 

You are a brand. We are all professionally a brand... no matter what we do for a living. In order to succeed at whatever you do, you need to promote your brand (you) as strongly, positively and honestly as possible. It's up to you if you want to be taken seriously and have backers who continually support your work, or if you want to screw your backers and they'll never support you again. Believe me, I have a list of film makers I'd happily support any day of the week and an even longer list of film makers I'll never support again. If you screw me over and leave me feeling negative about your brand, I won't hesitate to let everyone know it. On the flip side, if you are the consummate professional and leave me with a positive experience, I won't hesitate to tell everyone that too. The choice is yours. 

You've made the decision that you're ready to make your film. You decide which crowd funding website you want to use:

Kickstarter is the most difficult for the film maker because it's an "all or nothing" site. You have to raise the full amount you specify in the limited time or you get none of it. Kickstarter does get a percentage of what you raise. It's the best site for the backers because if the campaign doesn't succeed, then backers don't have to pay. 

Indiegogo is simple for the film maker to use. You raise as much as you can in the limited time and even if you don't raise it all, you get what you did raise minus the percentage Indiegogo gets. It's not the best for the backers when there are people who don't follow through with their projects and don't return the donations. 

GoFundMe has no time limit which many people like. GoFundMe is a bit more strict with their rules on what they allow people to campaign for. Funding a film on that platform depends on what the subject matter is of your film. I've known a number of people who tried to fund their films on GoFundMe but the pages were shut down because someone thought the subject matter went against policy. This is another site where it's common for people to abandon their projects and not return the money to the backers. 

I'm not very familiar yet with Seed & Spark. I know two people who recently successfully funded their projects on that site; one is already on the festival circuit and the other is near completion in post production. 

I've noticed it's becoming more and more common for film makers to create their own web pages for their films to collect PayPal or other electronic donations without having to pay fees or have time limits. Since they've invested so much time an effort into it, they're not likely to abandon their project. 

Before you launch a crowd funding campaign, do your research and be professionally prepared. Remember, you're asking people, some who personally know you as well as total strangers, to invest in you and your dream. 

• You will need to write a summary of your project and post a video or some kind of graphic for your film. Make it eye-catching, relevant to the topic of your film and appealing to your potential backers.
• If your cast and crew are in place, write about them too. Most of the films I back are because of actors or directors I know.
• Know EXACTLY how much money you will need and write a detailed breakdown of where every penny you're hoping to raise will go; actor salaries, crew salaries, hair & makeup, costume designer if necessary, craft services, location fees, permit fees, music license fees, composer salaries, equipment rentals, post production color correction and sound, etc. You'd be surprised at how many people just start a crowd funding page with ridiculously high dollar amounts and no details of how the money is to be spent. If you come across one like that, don't back it because that's a good indication that film will never be made because the film maker doesn't know what they're doing. 
• If you choose to offer "perks" for the donations, you'd better follow through with that too. Many film makers will offer shout outs on social media, digital downloads of their finished films, bumper stickers, DVDs, T-shirts, posters, autographed posters or photos, personal phone calls or videos, dinner with the cast, IMDb credits, various producer levels, walk-on roles, etc. You'll have to figure shipping costs into it. If you can't follow through with the perks, then don't offer them. 

When these crowd funding websites first started to become popular, it was much easier to get people to donate. However, as time has gone on, people have become numb to them. We can't log onto social media anymore without somebody seeking money for something. It gets overwhelming and eventually we stop looking at them. So how do we get people's attention then? 

Try to get your cast and crew to get involved in the fund raising process... especially if you have actors attached to the project with large fan bases. That's not always as easy as it sounds. Some actors feel it's not their responsibility to help raise the money. I've personally never understood that. If the money isn't raised, then there's no movie and no part for them. You'd think they'd want the campaign to be successful. But that's not always how it works. Of course there are many actors who happily help spread the word about the crowd funding. If you look at my last post,  HOMELESS ASHES: MY PERSONAL STORY AND WHY IT'S A MOST IMPORTANT FILM TO SEE, the only reason I even knew about  the Homeless Ashes Indiegogo campaign was because co-star Andrew Lee Potts posted the link on Twitter. The same goes for a short film called Chimera. I didn't know about that one either until he posted the link on Twitter. 

It's not enough just to post the link on your own social media every single day. As I said, people are numb to them now. You're going to have to use your networking skills and talk to people about it. Reach out to everyone on your social media individually in private messages and ask them to donate and/or share the link on their social media.  

There are many groups on social media for posting crowd funding campaigns. Strike up relationships with the other people in those groups and see if they can help you. 

Try to get yourself booked as a guest on every podcast or talk-radio show you can. Also hit up all of the online film magazines for interviews or write-ups of your film and the fund raising campaign. 

Fundraising for a film can easily become a full-time job. Use the money you raise ONLY for your project. If, for some reason, you aren't able to complete your project, refund the donations since the money won't be used for the purpose in which it was intended.

Once you have your funding, you are still obligated to your backers to communicate regularly the status of your project. It disturbs me the number of people I never hear from once the crowd funding campaign is complete. I spend a lot more time than I should have to trying to get in touch with the film makers to ask what the status is and where the "perks" are. Give regular updates of how the filming and post-production are progressing. Even if your production gets delayed for some reason, tell your backers and keep them in the loop of when the production will be back on track.

If you're able to get your film on the festival circuit, communicate with your backers when and where it will be with plenty of notice so people can make plans to see it. 

You are a brand and people are investing in you. Be professional, be humble, be kind and be grateful. 

HOMELESS ASHES: MY PERSONAL STORY AND WHY IT'S A MOST IMPORTANT FILM TO SEE

Yesterday, I attended a screening at the Awareness Film Festival in Los Angeles of a British film I made a small Indiegogo donation to a couple of years ago called Homeless Ashes; co-written by, executive produced by, directed by and starring Marc Zammit. I wish I had been able to donate more, but financially, things aren't easy these days. Still, I do what I can because I firmly believe, as I always have and written about in previous posts, that it's important to support the arts in any way we're capable of... especially independent projects. 

One of the co-stars of the film is Andrew Lee Potts. I first saw him years ago in a movie that was on the SyFy Channel called Nature Unleashed: Avalanche, and I've been paying attention to his career ever since. In America I'm sure he's most known so far for his role as the greatest Hatter ever in the SyFy original mini-series Alice, Vampyre Nation (True Bloodthirst) and the TV series Primeval catapulted his career and fame to new heights. Along the way he's done a number of wonderful films, short films, web series and TV shows... acting, producing, writing and directing.

I've been following Andrew Lee Potts on social media, pretty much for as long as I've been using social media. I noticed something he'd posted on Twitter a couple of years ago about an Indiegogo campaign to raise money for a film called Homeless Ashes. As I was reading the campaign and watching the video, it struck a personal nerve in me and I needed to contribute something. 

Why did it strike a nerve? In 2008, I was one of "those people"... one of the nearly 4 million people in The United States who lost a job I'd had for over 11 years in a mass layoff right in the heart of the worst recession since The Great Depression. I wasn't prepared for what I was going to go through trying to find work. 

Before the recession, I was never wealthy, but I was ok. I earned enough to pay my bills, put some money into a savings account, work on independent film projects and have some fun. There was a time when, if someone told me they needed $500 - $1,000 for their independent film, I'd give it to them. For now, gone are the days of making large monetary contributions to film makers and instead I make small donations when I can and still do as much hands-on work for free as I can. 

The day I lost my job, my life screeched to a halt. I was only getting $1.600 a month from unemployment benefits, which they took taxes out of so I didn't even get that much. The bulk of what I did get went for the rent of my apartment. 

The people who work for the Employment Development Department (EDD) talked down to and mocked us unemployed people when we needed help. The majority of us were forced into unemployment and wanted to be working. I couldn't get anyone to help me when the EDD suddenly cut off my benefits with no explanation and I had to reach out to then California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for help, which he did and my benefits were restored. For that I'm eternally grateful to him. 

When the unemployment benefits ran out, I had to take low-paying temp jobs and dip into my savings every month to make ends meet. This went on for 3 years and my savings account was gone. I had a major expense come up during that time, so I had to cash out my 401K to pay for that.  

When all of my resources were gone, I was starting to fall behind in my rent. I knew in a very short period of time, I was going to be homeless. There's a church on the corner of my street where a lot of homeless people "live". I would walk up there and sit on the bus stop bench across the street and watch them so I'd know what to do when the time came. I was trying to figure out how to live in my car with my 2 cats knowing the car would be stolen or towed away at some point. These are things people who live in the wealthiest nation shouldn't have to think about. 

On top of that, during those 3 years, as soon as I told my "friends" I'd lost my job, I immediately became completely invisible. People I had called my friends for years stopped talking to me. These are the same people who never hesitated to come to me with all of their personal problems for a shoulder to cry on, I babysat their kids for free, I took care of their houses, took care of their pets, collected their mail and watered their plants when they went on vacations. I never asked anybody for anything except to spend time with me... but it never happened. To say it was lonely would be an understatement. 

I was 2 weeks away from being evicted from my apartment when I finally landed a permanent job that paid enough to barely get by. It was a horrible job, but I looked at it as a starting over point. I made arrangements with my property manager to pay the back-rent I owed in installments to avoid the eviction. I make a lot less money now than I used to before the recession. It's 10 years later and I've still never financially recovered, and probably never will unless I win the lottery. Being over 50 years old now with nothing is a very scary thing. 

Still, with all the turmoil in America right now, becoming homeless at some point is still a very real possibility and that scares the hell out of me. Rent keeps going up, but the wages don't. Right now I'm spending more than half of my take-home pay in rent. I've been working in the electronics manufacturing industry for the last 25 years where layoffs are common and the older I get, the more difficult it is to find companies that will hire people my age, but it's all I know how to do. 

Because I've developed an understanding of homeless people, I volunteer when I can with various organizations to make meals to be distributed around Los Angeles. It's not enough to just shove food in their faces, it's also important to take a moment to stop and talk to them. Listen. Hear their stories. Make them feel human. 

There's a stigma that comes with being homeless that they're lazy and don't want to work or that they are all drug addicts or illegal aliens. When I was unemployed, Scott Baio called me lazy even though I've worked a LOT more in my life than he has. Most people are out there because they were once like me, but weren't lucky enough to catch that one last minute break like I did. There are many United States Military Veterans on the streets who aren't being supported by the government they went to war for. There are a lot of people who need medical help. It's even becoming more and more common for people who work full time to be living in their cars because they can't afford the constant rent increases. 

I know it's easier to ignore the problem when it's not happening to you directly. You see people panhandling on street corners and outside businesses, but you don't even look at them. When you take that moment to stop and talk to a homeless person, really listen to their story, you realize that they're a human being who deserves compassion just like anybody else. 

So, when I was reading the Indiegogo page about Homeless Ashes, I had to give something because it's an important story to tell. I hoped really hard that Marc would be able to get enough to make it... and through perseverance, he and his team made it happen. 

I knew I would get to see the film one day because a digital copy is part of my Indiegogo perk package, but just 3 days ago, I saw a tweet on Twitter that it would be part of the Awareness Film Festival in Los Angeles on October 5th with Marc Zammit and Andrew Lee Potts in attendance. They live in England, so when would I ever have the opportunity again to meet them and say "thank you" in person? I seized the moment and went. 

First, we got to see Monda Raquel Webb's wonderful short film, Pooch Sitter, which fit into the theme of the event. That film showcased in an upbeat, yet sad way, the extremes a homeless person would go to just to have a roof over their head... even for just a little while. If you see that title listed for a film festival, go see it. 

Then we watched Homeless Ashes. I had no doubt in my mind the film would be good, but I was completely blown away by just how fantastic it is. Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil it for you by giving away too many plot details. Just the basics. 

One thing you notice as you're watching Homeless Ashes is how cohesive the cast is. Marc cast the right people for each role and no one was out of place.

All too often when I'm working on independent films or web series, the film maker will cast all of his or her friends regardless of whether they're right for the roles or not. I try to persuade them to put some effort into the casting, but they don't always listen. Even some  films with big name actors blow it when it comes to casting. Recently I watched a 2012 film called The Master when I was doing the Rami Malek marathon. Joaquin Phoenix, who is a wonderful actor, is one of the leads. He was way too old for that role and it showed. He was in his late 30s when that film was made... way older than the other young men who played his Navy buddies and the girl who was his love interest was 16 or 17 in real life at the time. It was creepy. 

Marc got the casting 100% right and the performances the actors deliver are outstanding. 

Hector Bateman-Harden, an amazing young actor, plays young Frankie who experiences something traumatic which compels him to run away from home where he's forced to learn how to survive on the streets. Marc Zammit plays adult Frankie, who despite his situation, remains honest and compassionate. 

We meet several characters along the way, some good people and some bad people, where we learn their stories of how they became homeless and how they fit into Frankie's life... those who want to do him harm, those he stands up for and those who look after him like family. 

Lew Temple gave an Oscar/BAFTA/Spirit worthy performance as Chico, who, with his own tragic story, took on a fatherly role to Frankie. Andrew Lee Potts plays a man named PJ who recently became homeless through a series of bad luck that snowballed all at once and is very bitter and scared... which in real life is how the majority of the homeless are. Jason Flemyng gave a touching performance as Gavin, who ran the hot dog stand at the carnival and let Frankie "work" for his daily hot dog salary. Angel-May Webb and Jamey May were both wonderful as young and adult Nicole; a rebellious girl from a wealthy family and Frankie's lifelong soulmate. Dean Maskell and Angela Dixon were frighteningly believable as Frankie's violent dysfunctional parents.  Ritchi Edwards plays a heartbreaking role of a homeless veteran.  Krity J. Curtis and Lee Hunter are Viv & Ryan the heroin junkies. Madalina Bellariu Ion is Eva, the homeless immigrant. Everyone was amazing! 

The story flows at an even pace and isn't bogged down at any point. Every line in every scene is relevant. I'm really glad I remembered to put some Kleenex in my purse before I went because I needed it a few times. 

Of course seeing my name scroll by in the end credits never gets old... especially on the big screen. 

When the movie was over, as with most film festivals, there is a talk-back, which is a Q&A session led a moderator and you can ask the film representative(s) questions about what you've just seen. As I mentioned before, Marc Zammit and Andrew Lee Potts were there as well as Lew Temple since he's an American actor who lives in the Los Angeles area. The talk-back started in the theater, but the festival was running behind schedule so we were moved to another area one floor down. I love talk-backs because you get to learn so much about the production and what everyone went through to make it happen. It's a personal touch you don't get to experience seeing movies any other way. 

The first thing I did when I got home afterwards was to check IMDb to find out who composed the beautiful music throughout the film and end credits. His name is Mark Wind and I'm paying attention now.

The film is set in England, but in today's society, it could be just about any country as the homeless population is growing at an alarming rate. What Marc and his team have done in making this film is giving visibility to the invisible. If you think there's no chance you'll ever be homeless, think again. I guarantee everyone living on the streets thought that before it happened to them. Remember that the next time you walk by a homeless person without even looking at them. 

As of this writing, Homeless Ashes is on the festival circuit and hasn't been released just yet on DVD or VOD. The best way to keep up with the film festival locations and when it gets released for purchase is to follow Homeless Ashes and Marc Zammit on Twitter. There's also a Facebook page for the movie. 

MY POSTS ARE MY OWN WORDS!

Apparently someone felt the need to scan my blog page for plagiarism. Yes, I know exactly where my visitors enter my page from.  It feels sneaky and I'm quite frankly offended. It's things like this that suck the joy out of doing it. I spend a lot of time writing my blog entries and I don't make any money doing it. Rest assured, everything I write here are my own words... and if I quote somebody (which I haven't yet), I will cite where the quote came from and give credit where credit is due. Every photo I use are either photos I made, screenshots I captured from movies or TV shows I was watching online or photos that are public on Google. If you feel I should credit somebody, send me a message and I'll happily oblige. Have questions about my page? Ask me. I've always had that little feature on the right hand side of my page where you can send me messages.  

THE AMAZING SAMUEL L. JACKSON

I took about a month off from after I finished the Gina Gerson Marathon to give myself a break and do some other things. I love doing these marathons, but they are time consuming and exhausting sometimes as you have to get creative in locating the films and TV shows that are more difficult to come by. 

I'm all recharged and ready to get started on the next marathon, which will be the amazing Samuel L. Jackson. I was looking through his IMDb acting credits, and to say it's an impressive list would be an understatement. 

I've seen some of the films he's been in, but there's a whole lot more of his films and TV projects I haven't seen that I would have missed out on completely if it were not for this marathon. I've always liked Samuel L. Jackson, and I know after I complete this marathon, I'll have a whole new appreciation for him. 

Now this marathon is going to take a while as he's got a very long list of acting credits, but I'm up for the challenge, and no matter how long it takes, I'll do what I can to see it as much as I possibly can... hopefully I'll find everything.

As you follow along, I hope you'll discover movies of his you haven't seen yet and enjoy them too. So click HERE to go to the page and let's see how this goes.

Thank you for stopping by! 

EVERYBODY JUST STOP IT!!!! (CAUTION: RANT AHEAD)

This internet thing can be wicked, and exhausting, to say the very least and so many are caught up so deeply in its spell, that they've literally become  very cruel and stupid sheep. I mean, it takes mob mentality to the next level. 

Any tabloid "journalist" can create a headline out of nowhere, and within minutes, hundreds of thousands of people will have jumped on the train to voice their "opinion"... creating verbal battle lines... even though they have no real knowledge of a situation. 

I admit I've voiced my opinion many times on Twitter and have been called every adjective like idiot, piece of shit, micro penis, bitch, cunt, whore... you name it. Any person who actually knows me will tell you I'm none of those things, but that's the risk you take when you use social media and you don't have the option of limiting who sees what you post and who can or can't comment on it. There are thousands of people out there who use social media for the sole purpose of insulting. They don't even care about the issue you're tweeting about, it's all about the insult. We commonly call them trolls.

I'm at the point where every time I see the words "offended", "backlash" or "clapback" I feel the need to scream into a pillow because I know that in reality, the "controversy" of a situation really isn't THAT bad, but someone put it out there on the internet and it caught on like a wildfire and became a huge deal. You know the old saying... "making a mountain out of a mole hill"... this is what that means.

This applies to just about every situation in life right now, but since this blog page is entertainment related, I'll keep it focused on that. 

Just within the last couple of days it was announced that Robert Pattinson would be the next Batman. I'm not a Batman expert. The last super hero movie I watched was George Clooney's Batman, though that's going to change once my Samuel L. Jackson Actor Marathon starts within the next week. On my social media, I have seen one nasty comment after another about Robert Pattinson. Why? I don't know why and I doubt most of the people making negative comments about him know why either. The movie hasn't even been made yet and they've just jumped on the "hate Robert Pattinson" bandwagon. What I do know is that Robert Pattinson is a fantastic actor and will do his best in any role so I have no doubt he'll do a great job playing Batman.

When you think back, we've seen negative stories just like that in the past about Ben Affleck playing Batman, Daniel Craig playing James Bond, Charlie Hunnam in 50 Shades of Grey, Jennifer Lawrence in Hunger Games, Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman, Heath Ledger as The Joker, Tom Cruise as Lestat in Interview With the Vampire. They all did great! JUST STOP IT!! 

Recently I've seen one story after another about hating the series finale of Game of Thrones. I personally have never watched the show. Who knows, it may come up for one of my actor marathons someday and then I'll have to watch it. Until then, I'm really not interested. But, I've even seen posts in every social media platform of non-stop bitching and also where a petition is going around to get the producers to re-shoot the ending. Seriously... what the fuck? Since when did people become so entitled that they think they can dictate the way other people create their art? Very rarely do TV series end the way we expect them to. If you don't like the outcome of a movie or TV show, boo-fucking-hoo. Nobody is holding a gun to your head making you watch anything so go do something else. JUST STOP IT!! 

Every single day it seems we see stories about people being offended about certain actors being cast in roles they think others should be cast in. One example: Scarlett Johansson was cast in a movie called Rub & Tug playing a transgender man. That story blew up on the internet and people were outraged that a transgender actor wasn't cast in the role. She was basically bullied into dropping out of the project, which is a shame because I know she would have been great and now we'll never see it. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a major ally of the LGBT community and LGBT theme film making, but I disagree in this kind of a situation. The film and television industries have a very long history of casting cisgender people in gay and transgender roles. So what? They're ACTING. That's what actors do, they play characters that are unlike themselves. Who the hell wants to see actors play themselves all the time? How boring! I would think that transgender actors would want and strive to play characters that aren't transgender. Chaz Bono doesn't do any transgender roles and his acting career is growing. The same goes for gay roles. Gay roles should NOT only go to gay actors and straight roles should NOT only go to straight actors. 

I feel the same way when it comes to race. Many actors can play a multitude of ethnic roles. Why can't someone who is a light skinned Black person play a Hispanic role? Why can't a White person play an Asian person? I could go on, but you get the idea. My friend and I think Rami Malek would be fantastic playing Prince in a biopic, but that would cause so much racial backlash it would never even be considered. 

The roles should go to the best actor who auditions for the role. It's a world of make-believe so there is nothing to get offended about. JUST STOP IT!! 

Recently there was a lot of ugliness all over social media about Jennifer Lopez singing in the Grammy's Motown tribute. Since when is music limited to race? Or since when is music limited at all? Why can't R&B and Soul singers and Rappers be White, Asian, Hispanic or Muslim etc? Why can't Country, Pop, Heavy Metal and Punk singers be Black, Hispanic, Asian or Muslim etc? It's pathetic that there are people who exist that think music has to have barriers. Music is the one universal language that is supposed to unite the world. JUST STOP IT!! 

I see way too many nasty comments on celebrity's social media posts that, no matter what the post is, will insult how they look... not aging well, fat, skinny, pale, too dark, wrong hair color/style, age inappropriate clothes. Why do you have to be that cruel? That says more about your character than theirs. I'd bet money that most of the people who post shit like that are fat, lazy and jealous. 

Also, why do people constantly criticize how celebrity's kids look or question their parenting skills. Most recently I've seen stories about Tori Spelling's kids being criticized for being too heavy and Pink's husband Carey Hart being criticized for teaching his daughter to shoot a rifle and taking her for rides on his motorcycle. Here's a newsflash, the way other people raise their kids is none of your god damned business. JUST STOP IT!!

Especially on Twitter, it's extremely common on a daily basis to see people telling celebrities to shut up about politics and just stick to acting. Why is it ok if you post a lot of political things on your Twitter feed, but it's not ok for celebrities to do the same? I'm only speaking about American politics here, but I'm sure it's the same in other countries. They are every bit as American as anybody else, so why shouldn't they use their platform to state their views just like the rest of us? JUST STOP IT!!

I see a lot of people, usually women but not always, getting offended by the way other people, mainly celebrities, wear their hair or dress. Why can't women of all races wear their hair in cornrows or dreadlocks if they want to, or wear a scarf on their head, or a tribal fabric designs? How would it impact your life if I wore a turban or dashiki? How would your life be negatively affected if I had my hair done in cornrows or dreadlocks? Guess what? If I did all of those things, you would be just fine. JUST STOP IT!!

I know in the past couple of years the #metoo movement has really gone full force. A lot of women and some men have come forward with their stories of being sexually harassed and/or assaulted after keeping quiet for a long time exposing some high-power people in the entertainment and sports industries. 

Yes, I agree 100% there is a problem, but so many have used the opportunity to simply get even with someone they feel hurt them. You don't get to willingly spread your legs for casual sex and then scream #metoo just because the other person doesn't react the way you want them to about it. 

To clarify, just because a man puts his hand on your back, or hugs you, or kisses you on the forehead, or compliments you does not mean he's assaulting or harassing you. The same goes for women. Most people, if you politely tell them that they're making you uncomfortable, they will apologize and stop. There's no need to make a huge drama out of it. If they don't stop, then by all means take it to the next level, but it would rarely come to that. JUST STOP IT!!

You have to keep in mind that celebrities have thousands, some millions of followers on social media. They can't possibly read every single tweet or message, there just isn't time for that. I personally know many actors and musicians and I don't get a reply to everything either. If they don't reply to you, stop taking it personally, quit getting hostile and quit getting offended! JUST STOP IT!!

If you see a story or post on social media you don't like or agree with, just scroll by it. It's not necessary to make negative comments and it really makes YOU look stupid when you reply "nobody cares", because you obviously cared enough to take the time to comment on something you don't care about. Seriously, why the hell would you do that? JUST STOP IT!!

BEFORE YOU GET OFFENDED OVER EVERY LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT THING, ASK YOURSELF IF YOU'RE TRULY OFFENDED BY IT BECAUSE YOU'RE THINKING FOR YOURSELF, OR IF SOMEONE IS TELLING YOU TO BE OFFENDED BY IT. 

JUST BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA AND WEB SITES HAVE COMMENTS FEATURES, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO USE THEM. THINK BEFORE YOU TYPE. HOW ABOUT EVERYBODY TRY BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER?

JUST TO CLARIFY...

I just want to clarify something about my page. You've all noticed I have disclaimers on every page stating that negative comments won't be published. I have my reasons for that. 

My main reason is, I want this page to be a fun thing. Fun for me personally as I love films and writing so this is a great way to combine the two. I also want this to be fun for anyone who stumbles across it. Maybe you're led here while you're searching online for something else, you start scrolling through my lists and you find films you've never seen before and in the end you will enjoy them as much as I do. 

I am not a professional film critic and I'm not making any money from this page as a professional blogger. What I write here are MY opinions of the movies I see. I refuse to debate with anybody regarding my personal opinions and experiences... not on social media and certainly not here. 

I won't have anybody posting abusive comments to me or anybody else who leaves positive feedback. If you absolutely must post negative comments, then head over to Twitter or TMZ and you can be just as ugly as the others who troll those sites. 

My page is not a democracy and freedom of speech only applies to me here. You are more than welcome to start your own Blogger page if you feel what you need to say is important, it's free and you can write whatever you want as long as it's within Google's rules. 

I post about films I've seen and like. I won't have someone I don't know scolding me because I haven't posted about a certain film I either have never seen or didn't like enough to write about it. 

That said... I will publish kind, respectful and constructive comments, and I definitely accept recommendations for films. I don't know about every film ever made, so if you think of something that will fit in on one of my page themes, buy all means, politely tell me about it. If I haven't seen it, I'll add it to my watch list, and if I like it, I'll post it. 

I don't think it's too much to ask to have a place online where people can positively enjoy the content without having to see cruel comments. If people would take it upon themselves to just be nice, I wouldn't have to do this... but here we are. 

To all of you who visit this page regularly and to those of you who are new here, WELCOME and THANK YOU! 

THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SHORT FILMS

Photo from Google Images

Usually when I start a new spotlight page, I accompany it with a blog post. I launched a Short Film Spotlight Page a couple of weeks ago and I neglected to write the related blog post and for that I apologize. 

I received a "comment" that asked me what the point was to spotlight short films. This person called the people who make them "too lazy to make real movies". As always, I refuse to post negative comments because that's not the vibe I want here, but if anyone else is thinking that, I will address the topic of why I love short films so much. 

First off... people who make short films are NOT lazy. Producing a short film is a hell of a lot of work. So I want all of you to get that crap out of your heads if that's what you're thinking. 

As usual with all independent film productions, money is THE factor. 

Many film makers opt to do short films so they can tell their stories with less money. 

Many film makers will use the money they are able to get, make a short film, put it out there on the festival circuit and hope to gain attention from investors to adapt their short film to a full feature length film. 

Many short films are made as part of short film competitions for money to be used on their next film project. 

Many short films are made for school projects. 

Whatever the reason, there are countless fantastic short films out there and I want to spotlight the films I enjoy so they can be appreciated by all of you as much as I appreciate them. 

I decided to only spotlight short films that are available somewhere for the public to see like YouTube, Vimeo, Amazon, VOD, Compilation DVDs, etc. 

It's a shame that so many great short films have been made, which I really enjoyed, but for reasons unknown to me, the film makers have tucked them away and they aren't available for the public to view. Hopefully this will also inspire some of those film makers to make their films public in some way so we can all enjoy them. 

I often go to local short film festivals. Every major city has multiple festivals for different categories every year. I love that I can see so many different, wonderful stories in the same time it takes to watch one full length feature film. I especially love it when the film makers are there to talk about their journeys of making the films. To someone who has never been to a film festival before, it may sound odd, but once you start going to them, you find yourself loving them and can't wait for the next one. 

I have one last thing I want to discuss in this post. Just because you  have a computer and you have the ability to write just about anything you want as long as it's within the web site companies terms and conditions, that doesn't mean you should forget how to be a kind and compassionate person. 

People work long and hard to create their art, whether it's film, television, pottery, painting, music, photography, etc. You may not like it, and that's fine for you, but other people do like it. So how about you try, the next time you see something you don't like, just move on and don't say anything. 

Leaving cruel and mean comments on something regarding somebody's art is a much bigger reflection on your personality than their art. Do you really want to live day to day being a nasty bully over things you don't like or don't care about or would you rather engage positively in things you enjoy? You have the choice to be a kind person or to be an asshole. 

Think long and hard before making comments. That goes for every website. Try to be a decent human being.