All throughout this page I've discussed many times my love of independent films. I don't care what the budget is of a film, if the story and characters are strong, I'll love it. Some of the actors on my list are those who caught my attention from their work in independent films and it's pure joy watching their careers grow. Of those, some have become very dear personal friends over the years after working with them on various projects or chance meetings at film screenings etc. Just a few examples:
CHAD DARNELL
Chad Darnell is everything in the entertainment industry. He's been a Casting Director for years with many major film and TV productions to his credit. He's a fantastic writer, actor (TV, film and theater), director and producer.
The first time I saw Chad was in his 2012 independent short film mockumentary Groom's Cake which he wrote, directed, produced and co-starred in. I loved it so much and was ecstatic when I learned there would be a feature length sequel called Birthday Cake and impatiently waited for its release.
Finally, Birthday Cake was on the festival circuit and I went to a screening in 2012 at the QFilms festival in Long Beach, CA. It was heaven for me because Lee Meriwether, you know, Catwoman from the 60's Batman, came in and sat down next to me. That was our first meeting. I later went on to work with her a couple of times and those memories are among my favorites. After the film and talk-back were over, I finally had the honor to meet Chad and tell him how much I enjoyed his work. He was extremely sweet.
Since then, I've gotten to know Chad over the years, we had dinner once but mainly through social media since he lives in Georgia and I'm in California. I do know that he can be a bit gruff at times, passionate about world events and he's not afraid to say what he's thinking, but, Chad is one of the most genuinely kind people I can think of. He has a heart of gold, he works harder than almost anyone else I can think of, he's a philanthropist, he's hilarious, he cares about people, his creativity and talent is off the charts and he's dedicated to his faith. I support any project Chad is involved with without question. I'm proud to call him my friend.
PETER STICKLES
Peter Stickles is an outstanding actor and producer probably most recognized so far for his role as Vampire King Damian Courtenay in all 3 seasons of the TV series The Lair... a show that was cancelled way too soon and could have easily gone on a few more seasons.
The first time Peter caught my attention was when I saw John Cameron Mitchell's 2006 independent film Shortbus where he played the voyeur. In a film with one of the most cohesive ensemble casts I've ever seen, he stood out and I've been keeping up ever since.
Peter loves being in the horror films like Cemetery Gates, The Trouble With Barry, Zoombies 2, Shhhh and George's Intervention just to name a few, but he's also been in a number of wonderful thrillers, comedies and dramas like I Want to Get Married, Best Day Ever, Stage Fright and Confessions... everything from cameos to feature roles, he delivers.
Peter is one of those actors who should be in every movie and TV show because he's just so damn good! When I see a crowd funding campaign with his name attached to the project, I'll gladly donate what I can. He can play the hero, the leading man, the best friend or the serial killer. When he's in a scene, your attention goes directly to him.
I first met Peter at a film screening in 2012, a movie he wasn't in but was there supporting his friend who was in the movie. Over the years we've run into each other at various screenings or related events. As I've gotten to know him better, Peter is one of the most "Zen" people I can think of... he doesn't let a lot rattle him and things just roll off his back. Of course he's concerned about world and political issues as responsible citizens should be, he will speak up, but he doesn't let it eat away at him. He's extremely kind to people and I've personally never heard him say anything bad about anyone. Peter and his husband are the perfect team and they are loyal to their friends. He's not afraid to embrace his quirkiness, he can be silly or serious. He loves animals, is devoted to animal charities and at times I can imagine him standing in his yard surrounded by wildlife critters like something out of a Disney movie. A fantastic human being.
BRIAN NOLAN
Like Peter, Brian Nolan is probably most recognized for his role as Frankie, the tortured human in season 1 and as the silly but still tortured ghost in seasons 2 & 3 of the TV series The Lair. I didn't' watch The Lair in it's original run because my cable provider didn't provide the HERE! channel. I got the DVDs from Netflix after the show had been cancelled and I loved every second of them.
The first time Brian Nolan caught my attention was in our friend Rob Williams' 2010 independent film Role/Play. Brian played the supporting role of Ricky, who is battling skin cancer but still manages to be uplifting. The film also stars Matthew Montgomery, Steve Callahan and David Pevsner. I've met Matthew and Steve, they are wonderful people. I've worked with David Pevsner and just love him to pieces. However, because of Brian's outstanding one on one scene with Matthew Montgomery, when this movie was over, it was Brian I wanted to know more about. He has a larger than life screen presence that just reels you in.
After I started watching The Lair, I checked Twitter to see if Brian was on it. I found him, followed him, a couple of weeks later he followed me back, and that's how it all started.
I first met Brian about a year after following each other on Twitter at that same film screening I met Peter at. After the movie and talk back were over, I introduced myself to him and his reply was "OH MY GOD" with a huge hug. We went to the reception down the street and had a very pleasant, long conversation.
Since then, we've gotten to know each other a lot better. We hang out occasionally and he's my favorite +1 to go to screenings, plays, holiday parties etc. with. I don't see him very often because he's a very busy man with a whole lot of friends so the time we get is very precious.
I was honored to get the chance to work with Brian when he guest starred in the season 3 Mama's Jewels episode of a web series I produced called Child of the '70s. It was fun to see him in his element and it's my favorite time on a film set to this day.
Brian is still an actor, though he has evolved into a most ethical, loved and respected film producer - at the moment mostly television films for Lifetime, Hallmark, SyFy and Netflix and he's well on his way to being one of the top power producers in the film industry. Everyone reading this has seen at least one movie he's produced.
One of the things I love the most about Brian is the way he treats people. It doesn't matter if you're famous or not, rich or poor, tall or short, thin or fat, a raving beauty or average... he treats ALL people with the same dignity, respect and kindness they deserve. He takes the time to talk to everyone. Everywhere you go with him, he knows somebody. He's one of those people who has to personally say goodbye to everyone at a party before he leaves. He can be quite zany, sweet, caring, intelligent, a great listener... the very definition of "friend". If his name comes up in conversation, everyone within earshot will chime in with "I love Brian Nolan". My sentiments exactly!
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Now this blog entry is going to take a turn.
About 4 or 5 years ago I was looking online for a movie to watch and I came across a British film called Vampires: Brighter in Darkness written by, directed by and produced by Jason Davitt.
The films have very strong story lines and great characters. The special effects are extremely ambitious for a smaller budget independent film. Common with many independent films, film makers use everyone they know personally to round out the cast whether they're really actors or not. It's obvious some have more acting experience than others, but that's ok, for these films it works. The only thing that really bothered me about these movies is the sound quality. A lot of the dialog is difficult to understand because of all the electronic enhancements, loud sound effects, and the volume of the dialog is inconsistent. Also, it would have been beneficial if the actors had rehearsed more wearing their vampire fangs before filming began because some of them really struggled to speak clearly. Others of the cast were able to use the fangs and speak just fine... like trained actors would be able to. The shot in the nightclub scene where you can see the film crew in the glass door made me chuckle but these things happen:
TURAN DUNCAN
Turan Duncan, who plays the incubus vampire Mikal briefly in Brighter in Darkness and as a main character in Lucas Rising, is the one who really out-shined the rest of the cast in these films and the one I really wanted to see in more future films. Young, tall, very handsome, extremely talented and it was obvious he had more training as an actor than most of the rest of the cast. Like Brian Nolan and Peter Stickles, he has a larger than life screen presence that reels you in and any scene he's in, your attention goes right to him.
I added Turan to My Favorite Actors list on IMDb so I could check in on him from time to time to see what's he's up to. Every few months I'll go through the list and see if anything is new. I saw that Turan has a credit on his IMDb page for a Romeo & Juliet film, but as far as I could tell, it's not available yet to the public. I imagine it will be on the festival circuit for a while.
I noticed a long time ago that Turan does a lot of theater work so I was sure one day I would see his name on the Broadway World website announcing his role in a West End or Broadway show.
Early in March of this 2020 year, I went through My Favorite Actor list and when I came across Turan's name, I didn't see anything new on IMDb so I decided to Google him to see what stage play he was currently doing. What I saw when I Googled his name shook me to the core.
I saw a crowd funding campaign titled "LISTEN TO ME" posted by his mother, Tanju Duncan, with photos of Turan. The story read:
"Turan was an exceptional man who suffered and covered up his deep depression and anxieties. His story is not unique. We want to start fund raising to ensure that any money donated goes directly for counselling to young adults - that they do not have to wait at that crucial time when they seek help. Seeking help in itself is a brave step and time after time they are let down.
"Turan was an exceptional man who suffered and covered up his deep depression and anxieties. His story is not unique. We want to start fund raising to ensure that any money donated goes directly for counselling to young adults - that they do not have to wait at that crucial time when they seek help. Seeking help in itself is a brave step and time after time they are let down.
We are so aware of mental health - but do we understand? I know we didn't.
In memory of my beautiful boy help us to do something to support others.
Thank you."
I was really confused as I read the comments people posted on it. I kept thinking, that can't be. It must be someone else. I went on Twitter and entered his name in the search bar where I saw tweets from a couple of his friends and an ex-girlfriend who stated he had taken his own life. I don't know the exact date, but based on what I saw, it must have been in early January (***UPDATE: I've learned since I originally wrote this it was January 6, 2020).
Mind you... I didn't know Turan, we'd never met, he lived in England, I'm in the United States and I'm old enough to be his mother so I wouldn't be the type to seek out personal information on a young actor (I don't know his exact age, but I'm guessing he was right around 30 ***UPDATE: I've learned since I originally wrote this he was 30 years old at the time of his passing and his date of birth is May 6, 1989).
Since I saw that, for some reason, it's really been bothering me. I mean, we hear all the time on the news about people committing suicide, young actors like Jonathan Brandis, Lee Thompson Young, Sawyer Sweeten, Brad Renfro, Dana Plato and Justin Pierce... and while I feel sad for them and their families they left behind, they didn't haunt me the way Turan's death is. The best way I can describe it is, you know that feeling you get when you leave something unfinished? Like your conscience is nagging at you until you finish what you were supposed to do?
My brain tells me there's absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this. I wasn't aware he suffered from depression and mental illness. All I knew of him is what is on IMDb and his online resume... his acting career. I knew nothing of his personal life.
Maybe there is one thing I could have done but didn't. It probably wouldn't have changed the outcome, but it would have made him smile for a little while...
Many years ago when I was starting high school at the age of 14, a guy by the name of Mark Mason, who was 4 years older than me and had just graduated from high school, took me under his wing and became my music mentor (I'd been studying music since I was 8 years old) and instilled a great love of literature and writing in me. I still use the lessons he taught me to this day... even as I type this I can hear his voice lecturing me on proper grammar and punctuation.
MARK MASON
On April 22, 1989... at the age of 25, Mark died suddenly of suffocation after suffering an epileptic seizure in his sleep. When I got the phone call, I fell apart. All of these years later it still haunts me that I never told him "thank you" or I loved him. I learned the painful lesson that there comes a time when it really is too late. That's why it's so important to me now to tell the people I care about how much I love them and to say it often.
With Turan, I could have taken a minute to send him a tweet on Twitter to simply tell him:
Dear Turan Duncan,
I really enjoyed you work in the Vampire movies and really look forward to seeing a lot more of your work in the future.
But I didn't do that. Simple gestures can brighten a person's day, but most of the time we get so wrapped up in ourselves and our daily lives we don't think about how others feel.
Social media has become such a hotbed of nastiness and hate, how wonderful would it be if we made the effort to use it for good for a change and compliment others instead of tearing each other down?
I'm not going to judge Turan for his decision to end his own life. I can't even begin to imagine the level of pain he was in to believe that was his only option. He must have been in pure agony.
I'm thinking about one line his ex-girlfriend said in her long tweet about him: "He needed to be heard". I hope at least one of his writer friends he collaborated with will tell his story... whether it be a play, a film (documentary or drama) or a book, I hope someone who knew him will tell his story so he will be heard.
I'll always wonder what could have been. I'm hoping wherever he is now, he's at peace. While nothing will truly take away their pain, I hope Turan's family and friends find the strength to go on and in time find a way to focus on the happy times they had with him and turn their tragedy into something positive that will benefit others.
